So on my Instagram (you can follow it if you click the link on my homepage!) I had a lot of people ask me about ‘My story’ and ‘My Gym Tips’ not to sound totally cliche but we all have a story and we all have something we can talk about. I don’t even find the ‘story’ interesting and when I have spoken about it previously I didn’t realise how many people actually wanted my advice etc. So let me explain to you how I’ve gotten to this point in my life… how the gym was a massive help.. how I learned to love myself before loving someone else (again!) and how the future is really bright.
So my early 20s (I’m 27 now if you didn’t know!) I was never chubby or have I ever been. I was in a relationship and I thought it was all peachy and that was it, I was studying and working hard! My relationship (as much as I never wanted to admit it to myself) was crumbling and we eventually became two completely people, I felt like I was never good enough and I had zero control over the situation that was unfolding. I knew in my head the only thing I could control over was myself, my food and exercise. I started skipping meals and going the gym but I was never (in my mind!) ‘Skinny Enough’ I always say to people I never knew what I was doing, for first time in forever I can tell you what I was doing.. I wanted to get to that point where the boyfriend I was with would love me for me, I thought the only way of doing that was by getting his attention by changing me and my body. Now if your in a relationship and you feel like you need to do this, hell no! Your boyfriend or girlfriend should love you for you no matter what! That relationship I was in completely crumbled and you know what? at the time I felt like a failure but now It’s hands down the best thing that ever happened to me, so to that person I want to actually thank you because without you I genuinely wouldn’t be me and be happy with myself.
I have literally no negativity towards this person whatsoever. I did escape as soon as that relationship crumbled, I hopped on a plane and became an overseas nanny (as you do!) I went to Greece and Italy, it was the worst timing for me mentally but the best decision at the time, in Greece I made friends for life (Love you Xrisa!) and I only lasted a summer in both jobs and came home I felt refreshed (YOUR GIRL HAD A TAN!!!) and felt like I could be on a positive path, I don’t think I actual had gotten over anything at all I think i just escaped the thoughts and feelings. I had a couple of boyfriends and nothing serious (basically they where grade A losers but yanno we gotta learn hun!) I was always on the path to make myself me again.
My mum is my biggest rock and always have been. I have literally put her under so much worry in the past and I said to her 2 years ago ‘I am getting a PT and I am going to have a banging body’ Little did I know by end of it I didn’t have a banging body but I loved me.
So I did my research and I discovered Krisztina, now to say this lady is a machine is an understatement haha! I just went to Krisztina once a week and loved it- she gave me a lease of life I thought I’d completely lost 💓. With my mums constant support and her PT sessions genuinely I started to love food again.
I remember saying to her ‘I am craving a pizza so badly’ her response? ‘if you want to bloody pizza have the pizza’ What was exciting is I don’t remember the last time I had a pizza and slowly but surely (much to the relief of all my family) I started loving food and I enjoyed it. See your body craves things it’s natural and It does that for a reason, so don’t ignore it! Have it! I love training weights, it gives me a sense of relief and I love the pain of the next day when your bum hurts (I have gone from an ironing board to a peach!) you’ve worked hard so I know I DESERVE as much food as I want. Now a food plan is what Krisztina gave me and you weigh the things out etc. This is absolutely an amazing plan and It did help me a lot and It help me build my love again for nutrition and food but I suffer from IBS and I know certain foods don’t agree with me so I must of been a pain in the ass for her! Do I food plan now? No I don’t but I still weigh my breakfast out & prep my lunches also. I am now vegetarian and I don’t drink dairy but I do love cheese so i’m not quite vegan but I love vegan food and I know a lot about it all! I still train and I know quite a lot thanks to my wonderful PT.
So, how did I learn to love myself before I love anyone else? Honestly, surrounding yourself with people who literally are positive influences. I cut a few people out (i’m not ashamed to admit that!) and I started to focus on me for once (not in a selfish way!) I actually started sticking up for myself, I was a doormat in my early 20s and I annoy myself so much how I didn’t ever stick up for myself. Then the perfect love story happened (HA I am SO cringe!) A year and a half ago I was actually ditched at bowling and left on a surprise date with My Alex and we spent 3 hours bowling (who even does that?!) I had no intention of meeting anyone else (I’d come out of a horrendous 6 month relationship) but with Alex I instantly felt like he would be a friend for life and that we got on so well, I was totally oblivious that I had feelings for him. It just felt great that I was comfortable with someone for the first time in a very long time, I remember coming home and mum going ‘WHY YOU SMILING HEY!?‘ the next day I asked him for coffee as I was so intrigued.. the rest is history as they say! Now Alex, he is without a doubt the most kind hearted guy I have ever met, words will never be able to describe how much i adore him. He loves me for me, he loves my sassy ways, he loves my passion for my little business, he loves that i’m at the gym 6 days a week, that is what you need you need someone who embraces you! I totally love Alex’s ways, he’s perfect in every way and I always say your the male version of me! I could do a whole blog on Alex ha ha! (Maybe I should?)
So, fast forward 11 months I was engaged, we are planning a move to his camp and I am changing my whole life. I have gone from 5.5 stone to healthy (i never weigh myself anymore!) I adore the gym, I adore food and quite frankly I am loving life! I am surrounded by the most amazing friends and family who have been there every step of the way.
So continue to follow my journey, I will be posting about wedding plans and also all about my bridesmaids and then moving. Life is crazy! 🙂