Bye Bye March… Hello April! Reflecting on March…

Well Hello Lovelies, thank you for joining me again! So April is here and the sun is shining! This blog post is all about what March taught me and reflecting on the month in hand, I left February with a number of emotions and was determined to change that around

I left February feeling angry and very emotional, I said farewell to negativity and negative people (Bye Felicia’s) So coming into March I want to vent my anger but in a different way, I started boxing. My goodness, the release you get is incredible, I have now started private sessions as well, it is expensive but it honestly clears my mind so much. March has brought a brightness back that I didn’t think would come so quickly soon after February and I strongly believe its to do with Boxing and a new aspect of exercising.

I was truly blessed to have my guy home again in March, for one reason only! WE FINALLY GAVE NOTICE !!! so if you don’t know what this is (I literally didn’t know either I had to google it!) you have to inform the local council that you are getting married AND pay for the privilege for this also, We couldn’t give notice last time and this really upset me but this time I went with documents coming out of my ears as there was no way I was letting us get refused again. I did, however, get so nervous I forgot Alex’s address and missed one of his middle names, close call but she was so understanding the lady!

Myself and Alex took time out for ourselves, went on a couple of date days and it was so wonderful. We’ve both been focusing so much on the wedding that I can’t remember the last time we hung out and just had the best day! We went to Liverpool and went to Frost Burgers, holey moley it’s absolutely incredible! We also watched Dumbo at the Every man cinema, I was blown away, you get your own waiter and sofa! I felt like a queeeeen! Sobbed like a baby at Dumbo, definitely a must watch!
Nothing beats the day’s where you just feel like your in your own little bubble and everything is truly perfect, I just love hanging out with Alex, he is my best friend and I just adore his company! To have that feeling it’s just truly wonderful.

It was Mother’s Day as well and my goodness did we make sure my mama was spoilt rotten by My Brother, Alex and I! We got her a balloon delivered the Saturday which was wonderwoman, it’s so big it absolutely is the best money I’ve ever spent ha! We also took her out the Saturday night and it was for a meal but the restaurant was shut, we ended up all getting very drunk and Alex ended up throwing up haha! The next day I was the only person who was absolutely fine and I don’t think anyone was too happy with that. We got her flowers and a massage voucher too! This lady is truly wonderful!

So on my previous blog post about leaving February behind I said the following;
– I am going to learn to cope with my emotions better, I am going to put my emotions to good use, I want to try boxing. See if it helps with how I’m feeling and if not Find something else.  – Now I definitely did this and it’s an ongoing process dealing with my emotions, I definitely love boxing and it’s working for now! 🙂

– I am going to make sure my mum is happy every single day. I already make sure this but I am going to make a more conscious effort to make sure wonder woman is the happiest ever.  – I 100% do this, I check she’s ok each day and if she needs to call, I’ve bought her flowers every week and she is truly the strongest lady I have ever met!

– I want Alex to know every day that I love him and appreciate him so much, this guy has been so amazing the past month. Had to deal with me just ranting away all the time! – Alex, I hope he knows hope much he’s adored… he copes with me a lot and my stressy ways! I am a MASSIVE stress head recently and he’s so laid back he may as well lie down! He’s my number 1 fan and yep thanks Alex my best boo x

– My brother to have a happier March, we love going for breakfast together and talking about shit (like you do!) so I want to do more of this! Make sure he’s happy and smiling.  – Myself and my brother are incredibly close, We have continued with our Breakfast’s and we both are supporting each other, he’s just come back from Alex’s stag doo and was definitely smiling ha!

– I am not going to let any negative nancies or any inconsiderate folk effect me in any way, I will just shrug and walk away, I have had some comments like ‘ Why you changing your name for the wedding you’ll be changing it again soon’ It’s the principle of what happened during February and the thought of being my old surname on my wedding day doesn’t fulfill me with any happiness at all. Also, thank you to the people reassuring me with changing my name and making me excited for being a Siddle come July.  – I have legally changed my name now back to my mum’s maiden name and I am raring to go for July! I haven’t experienced any sly comments since really and had constant support, so thank you x

– Not to feel so Anxious about certain situations, some days I wake up calm and collective and one thing can trigger it and I end up in a ball of panic. I am enough, I need to realise this. – this is the only one I haven’t achieved, I am more anxious each day but when Alex is home it goes away. It’s bizarre and I can’t explain it because I don’t even know what it is myself.

So it seems February Emily was definitely down in the dumps and had a lot of anger so March… thank you for letting me calm down and have an opportunity to use my anger in different ways. So what will I be doing in April ?

-It is my first Hen Doo, Abba themed! I want to not stress, have the best evening ever and celebrate with all the ladies I love

– Continue with private 121 boxing sessions and see if I progress with technique, keep clearing my head!

– Get ready for Alex’s birthday in May, I like to be prepared and last year I took him to Prague (trust me to do something huge!) so I need to top it…

– Keep looking after my bro and my mama, they are always my main priority

– To avoid any wedding stress (probably impossible!) and stay calm and collective

So I am going to try really hard to make sure April is the month of happiness and of course have the best First hen doo, Obviously It’s Easter so lots of chocolate will be floating around, I personally eat over 75% dark chocolate or Raw Cacao so I am very excited to indulge and be happy!
Wishing you all a Wonderful April xo

p.s. I now have a youtube! Please like and subscribe – it will mean so much!


The Infamous Mama Fazz.

So as you probably you can see from the title this blog is all about my Mama. A lot of you always ask about my mama and how she feels about me getting married and what her role is on the day etc. So we have decided to get our heads together and put together this blog for you all to learn all about my mama 🙂

I’ve always aspired to be just like my mum, she’s my absolute hero. Raised both me and my brother alone and met the man of her dreams in her early 30s and got engaged less than a year later (ringing any bells?!) She is hardworking and so brainy its absolutely ridiculous. Want a role model? look no further than my Mama because she is an inspiration to us all. One of my earliest memories of us both is me trying on her pink cowboy boots and pretending to be my mum (She’s has THE best fashion sense!) probably nearly broke my neck in them! ha-ha! It’s the little silly moments that are the most special when it comes to your relationship with your mum. My best memory being dancing to the TV show we called Funky Monkey on a Saturday night and making up brand new dance routines that I would then teach to my friends on Monday morning at school ha ha!

My holy communion – my tiny bro! and my beautiful mama!

So as you are all aware Alex & I where together for 11 months before he proposed and this was very similar with my mum and dad – my dad told my mum he loved her before they even kissed! That’s true romance isn’t it?!
Now I have always wanted to know what my mum thinks about us getting engaged so quickly because we knew it felt right and everyone around us was so happy for us – especially my mama!
‘It’s true love, if you don’t have a ring on your finger before 12 months it’s not real- they should know from day one you are the one!’ words of wisdom from the lady herself, I couldn’t agree more! Why wait? If you love someone and you know you are going to be with them forever why wait? Celebrate your love. With Mama Fazz saying it is true love, it really is. I would have said yes to Alex’s proposal after a couple of months without a doubt.

The famalam on holiday!

Now as a family we are so close and I’ve always wondered what would happen when I met the one and how the family would react when I found the one or even my brother, we are all very protective of each other! A lot of you have said ‘what does your mum think of Alex’ or ‘Does he get on well with your family’ The best thing is my family are so welcoming that no one is ever nervous to meet them. So Mama Fazz what do you really think of my Alex? ‘Alex is a male Emily – in a good way! adores my baby girl and fits in our family like the missing jigsaw piece 🙂  
Now I know she wouldn’t say anything bad about Alex – True acceptance is that Alex asked my mum to go with him for my engagement ring! He literally is part of the family and we all adore him! Even to the point where I will be in my room waiting for Alex to come upstairs and half an hour will pass and i’ll run downstairs and he’s there cracking open the Prosecco with my family!

Now, every bride to be will tell you how difficult it can be when you plan a wedding and planning a wedding with someone who lives hundreds of miles away you need your mum a lot of the time. Mama Fazz has gained a very unique role in the sense that she is not only mother of the bride but also the lady who calms me down when i flap about plans, go to advice lady for weddings, best friend! Alex & I both hope Mama fazz realises how much of a rock she has been for both of us, we talk about it a lot when we are together and we are are going to be eternally grateful for her generosity and just her as a person. So we are curious as to what we thought mums role was in the wedding and see if she realises how much we need her! ‘My role is to support Emily, calm her down and make most of my suggestions reality!! Ha-ha she know’s me so well and literally i’m the biggest flapper ever, I overthink a lot and my mum is always there to calm me down. Anyone else can relate? If you get married my advice is take it in your stride if you are fortunate to have your mama by your side.

So if you have watched my Instagram stories this week you will see that It all hit me at once that my life is going to completely change and I am leaving home AND I will have a HUSBAND… sounds silly to say ‘it just hit me’ but you get so carried away with the planning and the excitement you don’t have time to sit down and literally take it all in. That’s the thing with life, how often do you sit back and take it all in? Life is so precious and something that we never sit back and admire. I always ask my Mamas advice on everything but her advice for wedding planning was simply perfect ‘Enjoy every moment, this is the most amazing journey which is to last you a lifetime’

I really hope you loved my latest blog with Mama Fazz. Please follow my Instagram (@almostgrownup_)!

Now this is a story all about how….

On the left – just under 6 stone! on the right November 2018

So on my Instagram (you can follow it if you click the link on my homepage!) I had a lot of people ask me about ‘My story’ and ‘My Gym Tips’ not to sound totally cliche but we all have a story and we all have something we can talk about. I don’t even find the ‘story’ interesting and when I have spoken about it previously I didn’t realise how many people actually wanted my advice etc. So let me explain to you how I’ve gotten to this point in my life… how the gym was a massive help.. how I learned to love myself before loving someone else (again!) and how the future is really bright.

So my early 20s (I’m 27 now if you didn’t know!) I was never chubby or have I ever been. I was in a relationship and I thought it was all peachy and that was it, I was studying and working hard! My relationship (as much as I never wanted to admit it to myself) was crumbling and we eventually became two completely people, I felt like I was never good enough and I had zero control over the situation that was unfolding. I knew in my head the only thing I could control over was myself, my food and exercise. I started skipping meals and going the gym but I was never (in my mind!) ‘Skinny Enough’ I always say to people I never knew what I was doing, for first time in forever I can tell you what I was doing.. I wanted to get to that point where the boyfriend I was with would love me for me, I thought the only way of doing that was by getting his attention by changing me and my body. Now if your in a relationship and you feel like you need to do this, hell no! Your boyfriend or girlfriend should love you for you no matter what! That relationship I was in completely crumbled and you know what? at the time I felt like a failure but now It’s hands down the best thing that ever happened to me, so to that person I want to actually thank you because without you I genuinely wouldn’t be me and be happy with myself.

I have literally no negativity towards this person whatsoever. I did escape as soon as that relationship crumbled, I hopped on a plane and became an overseas nanny (as you do!) I went to Greece and Italy, it was the worst timing for me mentally but the best decision at the time, in Greece I made friends for life (Love you Xrisa!) and I only lasted a summer in both jobs and came home I felt refreshed (YOUR GIRL HAD A TAN!!!) and felt like I could be on a positive path, I don’t think I actual had gotten over anything at all I think i just escaped the thoughts and feelings. I had a couple of boyfriends and nothing serious (basically they where grade A losers but yanno we gotta learn hun!) I was always on the path to make myself me again.

Snapshot of me loving the weights! 50kg hipthrusts 🙂

My mum is my biggest rock and always have been. I have literally put her under so much worry in the past and I said to her 2 years ago ‘I am getting a PT and I am going to have a banging body’ Little did I know by end of it I didn’t have a banging body but I loved me.
So I did my research and I discovered Krisztina, now to say this lady is a machine is an understatement haha! I just went to Krisztina once a week and loved it- she gave me a lease of life I thought I’d completely lost 💓. With my mums constant support and her PT sessions genuinely I started to love food again.
I remember saying to her ‘I am craving a pizza so badly’ her response? ‘if you want to bloody pizza have the pizza’ What was exciting is I don’t remember the last time I had a pizza and slowly but surely (much to the relief of all my family) I started loving food and I enjoyed it. See your body craves things it’s natural and It does that for a reason, so don’t ignore it! Have it! I love training weights, it gives me a sense of relief and I love the pain of the next day when your bum hurts (I have gone from an ironing board to a peach!) you’ve worked hard so I know I DESERVE as much food as I want. Now a food plan is what Krisztina gave me and you weigh the things out etc. This is absolutely an amazing plan and It did help me a lot and It help me build my love again for nutrition and food but I suffer from IBS and I know certain foods don’t agree with me so I must of been a pain in the ass for her! Do I food plan now? No I don’t but I still weigh my breakfast out & prep my lunches also. I am now vegetarian and I don’t drink dairy but I do love cheese so i’m not quite vegan but I love vegan food and I know a lot about it all! I still train and I know quite a lot thanks to my wonderful PT.

I would have never worn a bikini and I was kindly sent this bikini from St Lucia Bay

So, how did I learn to love myself before I love anyone else? Honestly, surrounding yourself with people who literally are positive influences. I cut a few people out (i’m not ashamed to admit that!) and I started to focus on me for once (not in a selfish way!) I actually started sticking up for myself, I was a doormat in my early 20s and I annoy myself so much how I didn’t ever stick up for myself. Then the perfect love story happened (HA I am SO cringe!) A year and a half ago I was actually ditched at bowling and left on a surprise date with My Alex and we spent 3 hours bowling (who even does that?!) I had no intention of meeting anyone else (I’d come out of a horrendous 6 month relationship) but with Alex I instantly felt like he would be a friend for life and that we got on so well, I was totally oblivious that I had feelings for him. It just felt great that I was comfortable with someone for the first time in a very long time, I remember coming home and mum going ‘WHY YOU SMILING HEY!?‘ the next day I asked him for coffee as I was so intrigued.. the rest is history as they say! Now Alex, he is without a doubt the most kind hearted guy I have ever met, words will never be able to describe how much i adore him. He loves me for me, he loves my sassy ways, he loves my passion for my little business, he loves that i’m at the gym 6 days a week, that is what you need you need someone who embraces you! I totally love Alex’s ways, he’s perfect in every way and I always say your the male version of me! I could do a whole blog on Alex ha ha! (Maybe I should?)

So, fast forward 11 months I was engaged, we are planning a move to his camp and I am changing my whole life. I have gone from 5.5 stone to healthy (i never weigh myself anymore!) I adore the gym, I adore food and quite frankly I am loving life! I am surrounded by the most amazing friends and family who have been there every step of the way.

My Ring is just incredible – My guy is incredible!

So continue to follow my journey, I will be posting about wedding plans and also all about my bridesmaids and then moving. Life is crazy! 🙂