Unexpected Wedding Dress Experience…

As you are all aware, I have had to find a dress with 5 months to the wedding! I mean, on average brides go a year before their wedding and they also know what they have in mind. Whereas me on the other hand- I had my dream dress! I didn’t want to try on any other dresses, It’s like I was cheating on my dress even thinking about it! I said on my previous blog how I was going to go try on dresses and have a positive outlook, bloody Nora I was so wrong! Let me explain further…

I mean how is my cousin SO beautiful?!

On Wednesday 20th February I’d planned a full day for me and my mum. My mum is now getting her dress made by the wonderful Carla Marie Couture (check her out she’s so wonderful!) and no word of a lie I’d booked an appointment which usually is an hour and mum had chosen her dress style and colour in 20 minutes, HOW IS IT THAT EASY!? It’s going to look so beautiful and to me, that’s all that matters. I want my wedding to be full of happiness and no what if’s. No negative nancy’s thanks.

Wacked on my Mrs. Siddle to Be jumper to get me into the mood!

For my Wedding Dress search I couldn’t do it on my own, I knew if Mum and I went on our own we’d both crumble and we would both be useless and not in the right frame of mind. So I rallied the troops we had My Nana, My 2 Aunties, My cousin Emma and Maid of Honour Emily. I’d found a dress on their website and In my mind, I’d try this on and we’d be done in an hour, now let me tell you if you go with that in your mind expect to come out three hours later.
I had booked the appointment At Hot Frox in Southport (in the North West of England!) I was nervous and grumpy and quite frankly the thought of trying on wedding dresses It just didn’t feel right and with everything so raw I just had so many emotions. I am so glad I had so many people with us, full of positivity and happy to help.

My Maid of Honour kept the positive spirits alive!

Wendy (who is the owner of Hot Frox) was the lady who was going to be helping me find that ‘perfect dress’ for the big day. She popped open the prosecco which I think I necked two glasses (so classy of me I know!) as the nerves got the better of me!
She said to grab dresses and then we can choose a final 3 and then I choose the actual dress, I was like what if I don’t find one? What about the one I’ve found I just want that one thanks! So I asked my family to grab dresses and I’ll try whatever they want on! I think in total I tried 20 odd dresses on! I slept like a baby that night honestly!

So the dress I found online was in my final 3 as were 2 dresses were the complete opposite to what I wanted but the family liked them. Now one of the dresses would have to be shipped from abroad and Wendy was so honest and said because of dreaded BREXIT she doesn’t have any idea of shipping and may be here with a few days to spare… so I tossed that one because I can’t be bothered with more drama about a dress!
So that left me with a FINAL 2… the one I found and this dress that was like a little girls dream dress… I can’t give too much away Alex might read this!
So they instructed my family while wearing the ‘little girls dream dress’ to do a shop walk, I wacked my wedding shoes on and she altered the dress slightly to very ‘Emily’ style.
So the family walked around the shop, they all burst out crying when they saw me stood there, I turned around to the mirror and I sobbed, I am not sounding vain but I looked so beautiful and I didn’t expect that any other dress than my mums would make me feel so good about myself, I proper sobbed about it.
My nana came gave me a huge cuddle as she was crying too!

So I found my dress and with huge help from my family and Wendy from Hot Frox, words can’t describe how she turned my negative attitude into being like a giggly excitable girl about trying on wedding dresses! I can officially say I said YES TO THE DRESS!


A little update on our family before I stop chatting away, we are coping so well! We are thinking positively and looking forward to the rest of the year, we are so strong as a 3 and nothing is getting us down. ūüôā


Why am I changing my Wedding dress?

So, its exactly 161 days until I get married. Until I wore my dream dress that is my mum’s, the excitement is too much. Anyone who knows me and my mum we know the excitement to wear her dress was all too much, it meant SO much. It was tradition, it is still a tradition to wear your mums wedding dress.
This week, it all came crashing down. We received news that the man we called ‘Dad’ for 15+years wasn’t the man we thought at all. This was to change a lot of things in the wedding, *Deep Breath* this man will not be part of our lives ever again, he is a lying, cheating d*ckhead and we never want him to come near us again. Now why am i bothering to tell you all this? This is real life, my blog is real. Its not all sunshine and roses life, its hard work and people betray you and people hurt you! Unfortunately that’s the world we live in, this is something the 3 of us (me, my amazing brother and very VERY strong mum) are dealing with right now. Writing is my therapy, it gives me a piece of mind. Pretty certain gin can help at this time too!

There was no way this could be kept from my blog, imagine on my wedding day and the comments flying in saying ‘Oh you look truly amazing in your mums dress’ ‘ your mum should be so proud’ I would have crumbled, felt like a liar myself. That’s something I am not. I want the wedding to be full of positivity, new beginnings and happiness! No what if’s or your wedding would have been different. No. Simple as. The wedding will be like this for a reason, everything happens for a reason even if it’s hard to stomach.

So what is changing? My darling mummy will be giving me away (not gonna lie always wanted that anyway and I used to joke about it ha!) I will have a mum and daughter dance, I have changed my invites as it was very traditional with the ‘father’ and mum names inviting the guest (this has been difficult, I wanted everything so traditional and old fashioned), My dress and veil, the isle song I walk down too and the guest list being altered. At first I didn’t think it was that much, typing it down has reduced me to tears. I’m not sad, I am livid.

My main priority isn’t the wedding now, it’s making sure my mum is ok with this change. She is hands down THE strongest woman I know, I didn’t want to do a blog and I was playing round with ideas and she came up with all this idea. I think she knows how much this helps my mind, typing away and letting people read and realise what real life is like. You see instagrammers showing perfect lives, saying everything is peachy. THIS IS NOT REAL. I want to show you real, organising a wedding is stressful, I don’t agree with that. I believe it’s the people around you that make it hard. We’ve dealt with negative nancies through this whole wedding planning, trust me they are a walk in the park! I’m not upset I am shocked and angry so so angry!

I know one of the questions from you all will be how do you feel about changing your wedding dress. I am devastated. That dress was a dream, it was my mum’s dream dress, It would have meant so much. *tries not to get teary* Someones selfish actions have ruined this, i’ve written a text out 6 times to him. Deleted it every time. He may read this, he may not. I don’t care what he does, as far as we are concerned we are going to have such a wonderful life, we have a new addition in our family and Alex is amazing, he’s checked if my mums ok. He can relate and has been through something similar, his brother, sister-in-law and his sister have been incredible! I can’t thank you enough. Changing my dress may be so hard to do, but peoples actions and people surrounding us with love and consideration means 10x more. My brother, holey moley. I can’t describe to you how amazing he is! He’s younger than me, I can’t even type words to express how much I adore that boy. He’s the glue in this situation that’s holding us all together. I feel he deserved a little mention. He joked and said he’d already said to mum ‘ Watch Em blog about this now’ Ha ha ! Well here I am! With the approval totally of my mum.

So, My new dress will be picked next week. I don’t want to see this as a negative, I want to see this as a positive a way of washing away the lies and deceit. We are back to being that strong trio, the 3 musketeers. No one will ever EVER get rid of that bond. I have so much support, my mum and my brother have so much support, if you’ve messaged my mum over the past few days with support and advice then from the bottom of my heart thank you. Your words and actions mean so much, my brother and I are being strong for her, we are trying to help as much as we can.

Finally, my mum reads all my blogs so she will read this. Mum, I am and always will be so proud of you. You are so strong. We adore (we being me Jat and Alex obvs!) you! You are our hero, our wonder woman. This wedding will be amazing, we will organise it to be the best wedding. No negativity, no what ifs and most definitely no d*ckheads.
Love you lots, Em xoxo

Thank you for taking the time to read a blog, that is probably one of the hardest blogs i’ve ever had to write. Please continue to follow the dramatic journey we all call life!

How Do I Balance Everything? My Advice to anyone juggling!

So if you follow me on Instagram (if you don’t its @almostgrownup_) I did a poll for the next topic for my blog and funnily enough it came out as 50/50 for both topics.
Now, why do people want to know how I balance everything? Well I work full time, I am a social media manager on the side (trying to build this up so can go full time!), I manage to get to the gym 6 times a week, Plan a wedding and hen do’s , we will soon be moving into a house and also get time to speak to my fiance. Can’t even imagine what it would be like if I had a child but I know with these hints & tips you can take away some ideas of how to balance your life too! Now I am not saying I am perfect and everything is going smoothly, I’d be a total hypocrite! We all have times were we know we have too much on our plate!

So what is my average day like?

So my average day varies on whether I am off my full time job or not. So I will give you an example of a typical day!
I work 5 days a week in a hotel at present, I am that girl who loves working early mornings, I naturally get up at 5am… don’t ask me why but I am in a routine now where I love nothing more than getting up early! It really starts my day off where I get up and make my famous porridge at breakfast, really sets my day up! (It’s the little things isn’t it!)
I will have packed my bag with my gym gear for after work and over breakfast I will make sure all the social media accounts are set up for the day and I will check my emails too.
I feel if I have pre-packed my bag the night before there’s no excuses to not go the gym – especially since we are on a countdown of nearly 5 months to the wedding I am upping my exercise this isn’t because I feel I have too because I am a bride but because I wanna feel my best on the big day and that’s how I feel my best.
I tend to work an 8 hour shift usually and then I will head straight to the gym, do a weight session or cardio and its an hour for me, doing something I love to do! You have to take an hour for yourself at least once a day ! As I am a social media manager my phone constantly is buzzing so throughout the day I constantly have to reply to comments, messages and emails. I love doing this and I am on my phone in the gym sometimes you just can’t avoid it!
Now that I am planning a wedding too, my schedule is just so busy! There isn’t a day go by i’m not writing notes on my phone or print screening things to Alex seeing if he likes it! We facetime each night and discuss plans discuss what needs to pay next.
I send him spreadsheets of guestlists, what to buy, budget… literally that takes up all my time!
Now on my days off from my full time job, I have my freelancing work and I tend to spend most of my days off on my sofa just typing away! I will be sending emails, contacting companies, scheduling posts for the next month! Organisation is key!

My Tips on how to organise your life!

Now I am no expert but these are things that help me to not flap (I do still flap ha I am not perfect!) or stress out!
1. Make lists of what you want to achieve in that day!
Now I love a list, I love doing lists on top of lists. Whether its a shopping list so I don’t overspend (Jokes I still do- my fave snack on sale i’m getting the whole shelf!) I do lists on what I need to do in that day so I am not snowed under on my days off from my full time job.
2. Pre-pack your bag the night before!
This is huge for me, My bag has everything in it from my diary, wedding planner, 12 thousand pens (just in case I loose one!) my gym gear the lot! Basically the kitchen sink!
3. Take time for yourself!
Take an hour out for you! I love the gym but I also love to meditate too (it’s 3 minutes!) I recently discovered meditation which I will explain in an upcoming blog as to why I decided to start doing it! It could be baking cookies or just watching your fave programme! Whatever is me time – just do it!
4. Carry a notebook/planner with you
This could be for anyone, whether your job is creative and you find inspiration or you are planning a wedding and you see something you must need!
5. Plan your food in advance
I am a huge planner in general! But pre-planning my food just gives me a piece of mind. As I work days I tend to just plan what food during the day and enjoy my evening meals. I plan my food for lunches for about 3 days in advance.

6. When you feel like it’s all to much – talk to someone!
Now we aren’t superheroes, sometimes it can get too much! So grab that bottle of wine (or gin in my case!) and just sit back and talk it out with a relative or a friend, sometimes letting it all out is better than keeping it bottled up.


Do I love being this busy?

In short, yes! I love being this busy, I love keeping myself occupied! But sometimes I love nothing more than slobbing on the sofa binging friends – I’m only human and friends is life!
One thing I do is when Alex is home is to make sure all my deadlines are complete before he arrives, I haven’t seen him usually for a few months so this time is precious. It will all change when we get married, we will be living together and he knows how passionate I am about my work! Plus if he goes away, at least I can take my work anywhere if I was to fly home or have visitors!
If you are even busier than me and you just about manage to juggle everything then I do hope some of my tips do help, no one should be so busy that they can’t make time for themselves, even if you have to plan it in advance!

Thank you for reading my blog, I do hope you enjoyed it! Please follow my instagram @almostgrownup_ for the crazy life of someone who isn’t quite ready to be an adult!

Vegan Launch Event: Casa Italia x Bettina’s Kitchen

I was so honoured to be invited to Casa Italia in Liverpool for the launch of their vegan menu. I have been going to the Casa since I was a little a girl and the moment you walk into the famous Casa doors you instantly smell the rich Italian smells and all the wonderful childhood memories start flooding back.
Now if you’ve never been to the Casa Italia (if not then where have you been?!) on Stanley street it has been around for 3 generations, to which I also had the pleasure of meeting at the launch. It truly is a family affair at the Casa with traditional Italian Dishes from their famous garlic bread with cheese to their Genovese pasta dish. The traditions are still kept alive for the many years and delighting the taste buds of thousands (maybe more i’m sure!) so now they’ve taken the leap of faith to a vegan menu and what better person to do this than Bettina, Bettina is so passionate about food and wellness. Her career has taken her on many unexpected but incredible journeys. She has come into Casa Italia and has introduced the vegan lifestyle to a very traditional Italian that has been part of many families lives for decades.

Now, I am a vegetarian and I fully appreciate a good heart-warming vegan dish also! I was totally flattered to receive this email of the Casa Family inviting me to this event (first event as a blogger- someone pinch me!) as a blogger who can meet fellow bloggers and eat wonderful food.
We where taken upstairs and the table was so wonderfully set out, simple but effective. I soon met all of the Casa Family and it was such a warm welcome, I’ve never felt so comfortable and so at home. I got to know a few of the bloggers while we sat down and embraced this menu.

So for starters (Antipasti for those who like to be slightly posh!) We enjoyed the Crudo and the Funghi All’Aglo… oh my goodness me! I am obsessed with both but I think the winner for me is the Crudo, the base and the pesto it just melts in your mouth! (Currently drooling just remembering what it tastes like!) I just kept going back for more, in the back of my mind I was saying ‘OK stop now..’ The mushrooms also had was drizzled in pesto, so you can imagine how I was just in my own literally Pesto dreamworld for a good while, I am a huge pesto fan and we make our own pesto at home (well mama fazz does!) and I never thought there would be any other way that primarily is healthier for you and that I would enjoy. This blew my socks off!

We had the next course of the Pizza’s and then the Pasta’s! Now in Casa my fave meal is the Genovese and I don’t tend to explore the menu further because when you love something as much as you love the Casa Genovese there’s no need to explore further (trust me!) I didn’t personally think nothing could beat it, especially a vegan version with Oat Cream(I didn’t get a photo because I ate it so quickly!) ! But my goodness Bettina… the master (that’s going to be her new nickname for sure!) of all things vegan has really left me quite speechless with this pasta dish! yes yes, I know its pesto and we all know how much I love it!
Now the Pizza’s we had both the Ortolana and the Piccante, for me the personally as I am not a spice fan (personal preference!) The Ortolana was incredible and something I could eat over and over again. Now the Pizza base itself, wasn’t chewy or hard (which sometimes you can experience in an italian restaurant) this just melted in your mouth, is this even possible?Like the way it crumbled it was just absolutely divine and I had no idea a vegan pizza base could taste like this!
Overall I am completely converted and will be taking full advantage of this vegan menu on my next visit (which is very soon!) and it’s wonderful to see that such a traditional italian is moving with the times, vegan isn’t a fad or a trend it is a lifestyle and the more restaurants appreciate this the better.

We got gifted by Casa and Bettina this wonderful hamper (like the food wasn’t a fantastic gift itself!) and it’s so overwhelming! We received Bettina’s latest book, Vegan Red Wine, Vegan Parmesan (tastes very nutty but totally delish!) , a gift voucher for Casa (HOLEY MOLEY I WAS EXCITED!) and a bottle of juice. I am so grateful to be able to have this opportunity and to meet someone so influential like Bettina and the Casa family also! If you are vegan and miss the italian food and want something that will totally tingle those tastebuds, Casa Italia is definitely the place you should be going too.

The Infamous Mama Fazz.

So as you probably you can see from the title this blog is all about my Mama. A lot of you always ask about my mama and how she feels about me getting married and what her role is on the day etc. So we have decided to get our heads together and put together this blog for you all to learn all about my mama ūüôā

I’ve always aspired to be just like my mum, she’s my absolute hero. Raised both me and my brother alone and met the man of her dreams in her early 30s and got engaged less than a year later (ringing any bells?!) She is hardworking and so brainy its absolutely ridiculous. Want a role model? look no further than my Mama because she is an inspiration to us all. One of my earliest memories of us both is me trying on her pink cowboy boots and pretending to be my mum (She’s has THE best fashion sense!) probably nearly broke my neck in them! ha-ha! It’s the little silly moments that are the most special when it comes to your relationship with your mum. My best memory being dancing to the TV show we called Funky Monkey on a Saturday night and making up brand new dance routines that I would then teach to my friends on Monday morning at school ha ha!

My holy communion – my tiny bro! and my beautiful mama!

So as you are all aware Alex & I where together for 11 months before he proposed and this was very similar with my mum and dad – my dad told my mum he loved her before they even kissed! That’s true romance isn’t it?!
Now I have always wanted to know what my mum thinks about us getting engaged so quickly because we knew it felt right and everyone around us was so happy for us – especially my mama!
‘It’s true love, if you don’t have a ring on your finger before 12 months it’s not real- they should know from day one you are the one!’ words of wisdom from the lady herself, I couldn’t agree more! Why wait? If you love someone and you know you are going to be with them forever why wait? Celebrate your love. With Mama Fazz saying it is true love, it really is. I would have said yes to Alex’s proposal after a couple of months without a doubt.

The famalam on holiday!

Now as a family we are so close and I’ve always wondered what would happen when I met the one and how the family would react when I found the one or even my brother, we are all very protective of each other! A lot of you have said ‘what does your mum think of Alex’ or ‘Does he get on well with your family’ The best thing is my family are so welcoming that no one is ever nervous to meet them. So Mama Fazz what do you really think of my Alex? ‘Alex¬†is¬†a¬†male¬†Emily¬†–¬†in¬†a¬†good¬†way!¬†adores¬†my¬†baby¬†girl¬†and¬†fits¬†in¬†our¬†family¬†like¬†the¬†missing¬†jigsaw¬†piece¬†ūüôā ¬†
Now I know she wouldn’t say anything bad about Alex – True acceptance is that Alex asked my mum to go with him for my engagement ring! He literally is part of the family and we all adore him! Even to the point where I will be in my room waiting for Alex to come upstairs and half an hour will pass and i’ll run downstairs and he’s there cracking open the Prosecco with my family!

Now, every bride to be will tell you how difficult it can be when you plan a wedding and planning a wedding with someone who lives hundreds of miles away you need your mum a lot of the time. Mama Fazz has gained a very unique role in the sense that she is not only mother of the bride but also the lady who calms me down when i flap about plans, go to advice lady for weddings, best friend! Alex & I both hope Mama fazz realises how much of a rock she has been for both of us, we talk about it a lot when we are together and we are are going to be eternally grateful for her generosity and just her as a person. So we are curious as to what we thought mums role was in the wedding and see if she realises how much we need her! ‘My¬†role¬†is¬†to¬†support¬†Emily,¬†calm¬†her¬†down¬†and¬†make¬†most¬†of¬†my¬†suggestions¬†reality!! Ha-ha she know’s me so well and literally i’m the biggest flapper ever, I overthink a lot and my mum is always there to calm me down. Anyone else can relate? If you get married my advice is take it in your stride if you are fortunate to have your mama by your side.

So if you have watched my Instagram stories this week you will see that It all hit me at once that my life is going to completely change and I am leaving home AND I will have a HUSBAND… sounds silly to say ‘it just hit me’ but you get so carried away with the planning and the excitement you don’t have time to sit down and literally take it all in. That’s the thing with life, how often do you sit back and take it all in? Life is so precious and something that we never sit back and admire. I always ask my Mamas advice on everything but her advice for wedding planning was simply perfect ‘Enjoy¬†every¬†moment,¬†this¬†is¬†the¬†most¬†amazing¬†journey¬†which¬†is¬†to¬†last¬†you¬†a¬†lifetime’

I really hope you loved my latest blog with Mama Fazz. Please follow my Instagram (@almostgrownup_)!

Planning a Wedding when you are in a long distance relationship…

Planning a wedding is stressful enough but when the person lives over 300 miles away… it’s stress on another level, not being able to share the special moments of booking things together and having to confirm things via whatsapp or facetime.

We had this made for us by my Auntie for our Engagement!

I’ve expressed a lot on my instagram how we’ve found the actual planning of the wedding relatively easy and it’s people (who we thought where friends) who have made it highly difficult and probably think it will cause strain on our relationship, well more fool you (you absolute weapons!) we are stronger than ever. If you haven’t seen my stories and your new to following me, we have experienced quite a lot of negativity from people who Alex thought where his life long friends, I haven’t really mingled with his friends (We got together and got engaged within 11 months!) but I am lovely to everyone I meet and so welcoming that sometimes it hasn’t been reciprocated. I have been called a bully, self-absorbent and manipulative and this is just naming a few. I don’t know about yourselves but never in my wildest dreams would I make a judgement about someone without getting to know them, so for those friends & family who have got to know me and Alex we are so grateful, your positivity is what makes us stronger and makes us even happier than we already are. It’s a real shame when you loose friends during the process of growing up but as i’ve said a lot recently, we are not in high school anymore and this is real life. (rant over! ha!)

I’m a bit of an organisational loser!

Alex lives over 300 miles away and we mainly use Whatsapp and Facetime for decisions. When he proposed July 2018 he wasn’t going home til August so we made it our goal to get the important things to be booked and put a deposit down straight away. This included the venue, entertainment, the church, food, photographer and stationary. Luckily I work for a leisure group and one of the hotels is absolutely gorgeous so after many, many rejections on venues because a year in advance booking is not normal we booked our reception and the food within one meeting.
The entertainment we wanted a DJ and lets say a musical act? Well I knew a DJ and Alex knew this DJ too so it was a no brainer. I’ve worked in a lot of hotels and had a lot of jobs so I knew people in the right places you could say! The photographer I have actually been his social media manager before and it was a no brainer and the same for the stationary. Everything was all booked within the first 2 months of being engaged, surely this is a world record? I’m even impressed that I did the key bits in such a short time.

At the National Wedding Show!

Alex from when he went back to his base wasn’t coming home until Christmas (that’s 4 months people!!) . It is so difficult at times, especially if you have a bad day and all you need is a hug off your boyfriend/fiance! I am so grateful that I have such a wonderful family because they are so supportive and give the best hugs! Sometimes you just need someones company and you don’t even have to talk and just knowing they are there makes all that difference.

With a long distance relationship it’s definitely hard to keep your spirits up on a daily basis, i’d totally be a hypocrite if I said ‘I am happy all the time’ oh gosh I am not. I have days where i have little panics and i’m emotional, I am your typical over-thinker and I start to believe some of my over-thinking and I always go to my mum to reassure me. On the flip side, Alex and I are going through such an exciting part of our lives that we just can’t hide our happiness. I never ever thought at 27 I would have been planning a wedding and someone who lives 300 + miles away! Distance isn’t an easy ride and we would be totally lying if we said ‘oh yes it’s a dream this distance’ I actually don’t think it’s as hard as other people make out because i’ve been in a relationship with distance before but didn’t deal with it well at all. I’m older now and I have come to terms that the ‘long distance’ isn’t forever and I know what the next year holds for us.

Now if you are planning a wedding and you are like us and doing it so traditional that you don’t even move in with eachother until you are married and to top that off they live far away let me give you some tips.
1. Technology will be your BEST friend for the whole time- whatsapp and facetime. We ended up choosing our wedding rings over whatsapp (not our fault!) it’s never an ideal situation but you have to make good out of a not very nice situation.
2. You will bicker and you will have disagreements – you are far away and 9/10 the bickers aren’t personal its frustration you aren’t together.
3. If you can cope with distance, you can cope with anything! – Distance is a bit of a bitch and especially when you are planning an event whether its a wedding or a party etc. You will both get so much stronger as a couple.
4. Ignore those haters – We have had negativity but its been weighed out by how positive our loved ones have been and also people we don’t even know thanks to good old social media.
5. Have the right support system – You really do learn who your real friends are and who you can really rely on when it comes from living far apart and planning an important occasion.
6. Focus on the end goal – You won’t be apart forever, you have your end goal so put together a countdown it really does make it so much easier.

So you have my perspective and I asked Alex his opinion on planning a wedding when he’s in a distance relationship and he had this to say;
While planning this wedding it has been increasingly frustrating because I am so limited in what I can do and be involved with. Thankfully with modern technology this makes it easier to communicate and arrange different things, thanks to Emily and Mama Fazz they have been so reassuring with myself when it’s all got a bit too much when I am far away. I’ve learnt in hindsight that it’s probably not the greatest idea to organise a wedding with such a big distance but this has brought us closer together since we’re both in the same situation. We have fantastic support from people closes to us minus a few individual who don’t realise it’s our day and not theirs, personally I have learnt a few people’s true colours. If you are in a distance relationship and planning an event or wedding I would say communication is key and just be honest with eachother.

Wise words from my future hubby to be, honestly surprised he had so much to say! Below is a photo of myself and Alex when he asked me to be his wife (YES he exsists!) and it gives me all the butterflies, this photo and the happiness you see makes the distance so worthwhile.

Thank you for reading and I would love to know what you think, don’t forget to follow my instagram and thank you for all being so lovely!

Love Mr & Mrs S to be x

Now this is a story all about how….

On the left – just under 6 stone! on the right November 2018

So on my Instagram (you can follow it if you click the link on my homepage!) I had a lot of people ask me about ‘My story’ and ‘My Gym Tips’ not to sound totally cliche but we all have a story and we all have something we can talk about. I don’t even find the ‘story’ interesting and when I have spoken about it previously I didn’t realise how many people actually wanted my advice etc. So let me explain to you how I’ve gotten to this point in my life… how the gym was a massive help.. how I learned to love myself before loving someone else (again!) and how the future is really bright.

So my early 20s (I’m 27 now if you didn’t know!) I was never chubby or have I ever been. I was in a relationship and I thought it was all peachy and that was it, I was studying and working hard! My relationship (as much as I never wanted to admit it to myself) was crumbling and we eventually became two completely people, I felt like I was never good enough and I had zero control over the situation that was unfolding. I knew in my head the only thing I could control over was myself, my food and exercise. I started skipping meals and going the gym but I was never (in my mind!) ‘Skinny Enough’ I always say to people I never knew what I was doing, for first time in forever I can tell you what I was doing.. I wanted to get to that point where the boyfriend I was with would love me for me, I thought the only way of doing that was by getting his attention by changing me and my body. Now if your in a relationship and you feel like you need to do this, hell no! Your boyfriend or girlfriend should love you for you no matter what! That relationship I was in completely crumbled and you know what? at the time I felt like a failure but now It’s hands down the best thing that ever happened to me, so to that person I want to actually thank you because without you I genuinely wouldn’t be me and be happy with myself.

I have literally no negativity towards this person whatsoever. I did escape as soon as that relationship crumbled, I hopped on a plane and became an overseas nanny (as you do!) I went to Greece and Italy, it was the worst timing for me mentally but the best decision at the time, in Greece I made friends for life (Love you Xrisa!) and I only lasted a summer in both jobs and came home I felt refreshed (YOUR GIRL HAD A TAN!!!) and felt like I could be on a positive path, I don’t think I actual had gotten over anything at all I think i just escaped the thoughts and feelings. I had a couple of boyfriends and nothing serious (basically they where grade A losers but yanno we gotta learn hun!) I was always on the path to make myself me again.

Snapshot of me loving the weights! 50kg hipthrusts ūüôā

My mum is my biggest rock and always have been. I have literally put her under so much worry in the past and I said to her 2 years ago ‘I am getting a PT and I am going to have a banging body’ Little did I know by end of it I didn’t have a banging body but I loved me.
So I did my research and I discovered Krisztina, now to say this lady is a machine is an understatement haha! I just went to Krisztina once a week and loved it- she gave me a lease of life I thought I’d completely lost ūüíď. With my mums constant support and her PT sessions genuinely I started to love food again.
I remember saying to her ‘I am craving a pizza so badly’ her response? ‘if you want to bloody pizza have the pizza’ What was exciting is I don’t remember the last time I had a pizza and slowly but surely (much to the relief of all my family) I started loving food and I enjoyed it. See your body craves things it’s natural and It does that for a reason, so don’t ignore it! Have it! I love training weights, it gives me a sense of relief and I love the pain of the next day when your bum hurts (I have gone from an ironing board to a peach!) you’ve worked hard so I know I DESERVE as much food as I want. Now a food plan is what Krisztina gave me and you weigh the things out etc. This is absolutely an amazing plan and It did help me a lot and It help me build my love again for nutrition and food but I suffer from IBS and I know certain foods don’t agree with me so I must of been a pain in the ass for her! Do I food plan now? No I don’t but I still weigh my breakfast out & prep my lunches also. I am now vegetarian and I don’t drink dairy but I do love cheese so i’m not quite vegan but I love vegan food and I know a lot about it all! I still train and I know quite a lot thanks to my wonderful PT.

I would have never worn a bikini and I was kindly sent this bikini from St Lucia Bay https://stluciabay.com/

So, how did I learn to love myself before I love anyone else? Honestly, surrounding yourself with people who literally are positive influences. I cut a few people out (i’m not ashamed to admit that!) and I started to focus on me for once (not in a selfish way!) I actually started sticking up for myself, I was a doormat in my early 20s and I annoy myself so much how I didn’t ever stick up for myself. Then the perfect love story happened (HA I am SO cringe!) A year and a half ago I was actually ditched at bowling and left on a surprise date with My Alex and we spent 3 hours bowling (who even does that?!) I had no intention of meeting anyone else (I’d come out of a horrendous 6 month relationship) but with Alex I instantly felt like he would be a friend for life and that we got on so well, I was totally oblivious that I had feelings for him. It just felt great that I was comfortable with someone for the first time in a very long time, I remember coming home and mum going ‘WHY YOU SMILING HEY!?‘ the next day I asked him for coffee as I was so intrigued.. the rest is history as they say! Now Alex, he is without a doubt the most kind hearted guy I have ever met, words will never be able to describe how much i adore him. He loves me for me, he loves my sassy ways, he loves my passion for my little business, he loves that i’m at the gym 6 days a week, that is what you need you need someone who embraces you! I totally love Alex’s ways, he’s perfect in every way and I always say your the male version of me! I could do a whole blog on Alex ha ha! (Maybe I should?)

So, fast forward 11 months I was engaged, we are planning a move to his camp and I am changing my whole life. I have gone from 5.5 stone to healthy (i never weigh myself anymore!) I adore the gym, I adore food and quite frankly I am loving life! I am surrounded by the most amazing friends and family who have been there every step of the way.

My Ring is just incredible – My guy is incredible!

So continue to follow my journey, I will be posting about wedding plans and also all about my bridesmaids and then moving. Life is crazy! ūüôā

Almost Grown Up

So, here it is! My first blog post, thank you so much for taking the time to read it I am truly grateful!

My Name is Emily Rose (Sooooon to be Emily Rose Siddle!) and I am 27 years young. Blogging is something I’ve always wanted to try, I’ve never really had much to talk about (that doesn’t shut me up though!) I am from the North West of England in a small town called Southport (big up sowie p!) which is quite close to Liverpool if you have no idea where Southport is! I will be moving soon to be with my future hubby and leaving the small town ways behind, I would love nothing more for you to follow my journey into adult-hood (ha never going to happen- I am 18 forever!)

So why ‘Almost Grown Up’? Currently I am planning a wedding and everything is happening at 1000 mph and I genuinely don’t feel like I am truly grown up enough yet (pretty certain I was 18 last year!?) I definitely do not act like a 27 year old and I 100% still look around for an adult, then I realise that actually I am the adult! I really hope that some of you feel that way too… it’s all going WAY too fast!

So I will be blogging about all my wedding planning, my life stresses (I’m a drama queen so bound to be interesting!), moving all the way up to Scotland and starting a brand new life. Hold on guys, this is going to be one fast ride ūüėČ

Until next time xo