Planning a wedding is stressful enough but when the person lives over 300 miles away… it’s stress on another level, not being able to share the special moments of booking things together and having to confirm things via whatsapp or facetime.
I’ve expressed a lot on my instagram how we’ve found the actual planning of the wedding relatively easy and it’s people (who we thought where friends) who have made it highly difficult and probably think it will cause strain on our relationship, well more fool you (you absolute weapons!) we are stronger than ever. If you haven’t seen my stories and your new to following me, we have experienced quite a lot of negativity from people who Alex thought where his life long friends, I haven’t really mingled with his friends (We got together and got engaged within 11 months!) but I am lovely to everyone I meet and so welcoming that sometimes it hasn’t been reciprocated. I have been called a bully, self-absorbent and manipulative and this is just naming a few. I don’t know about yourselves but never in my wildest dreams would I make a judgement about someone without getting to know them, so for those friends & family who have got to know me and Alex we are so grateful, your positivity is what makes us stronger and makes us even happier than we already are. It’s a real shame when you loose friends during the process of growing up but as i’ve said a lot recently, we are not in high school anymore and this is real life. (rant over! ha!)
Alex lives over 300 miles away and we mainly use Whatsapp and Facetime for decisions. When he proposed July 2018 he wasn’t going home til August so we made it our goal to get the important things to be booked and put a deposit down straight away. This included the venue, entertainment, the church, food, photographer and stationary. Luckily I work for a leisure group and one of the hotels is absolutely gorgeous so after many, many rejections on venues because a year in advance booking is not normal we booked our reception and the food within one meeting.
The entertainment we wanted a DJ and lets say a musical act? Well I knew a DJ and Alex knew this DJ too so it was a no brainer. I’ve worked in a lot of hotels and had a lot of jobs so I knew people in the right places you could say! The photographer I have actually been his social media manager before and it was a no brainer and the same for the stationary. Everything was all booked within the first 2 months of being engaged, surely this is a world record? I’m even impressed that I did the key bits in such a short time.
Alex from when he went back to his base wasn’t coming home until Christmas (that’s 4 months people!!) . It is so difficult at times, especially if you have a bad day and all you need is a hug off your boyfriend/fiance! I am so grateful that I have such a wonderful family because they are so supportive and give the best hugs! Sometimes you just need someones company and you don’t even have to talk and just knowing they are there makes all that difference.
With a long distance relationship it’s definitely hard to keep your spirits up on a daily basis, i’d totally be a hypocrite if I said ‘I am happy all the time’ oh gosh I am not. I have days where i have little panics and i’m emotional, I am your typical over-thinker and I start to believe some of my over-thinking and I always go to my mum to reassure me. On the flip side, Alex and I are going through such an exciting part of our lives that we just can’t hide our happiness. I never ever thought at 27 I would have been planning a wedding and someone who lives 300 + miles away! Distance isn’t an easy ride and we would be totally lying if we said ‘oh yes it’s a dream this distance’ I actually don’t think it’s as hard as other people make out because i’ve been in a relationship with distance before but didn’t deal with it well at all. I’m older now and I have come to terms that the ‘long distance’ isn’t forever and I know what the next year holds for us.
Now if you are planning a wedding and you are like us and doing it so traditional that you don’t even move in with eachother until you are married and to top that off they live far away let me give you some tips.
1. Technology will be your BEST friend for the whole time- whatsapp and facetime. We ended up choosing our wedding rings over whatsapp (not our fault!) it’s never an ideal situation but you have to make good out of a not very nice situation.
2. You will bicker and you will have disagreements – you are far away and 9/10 the bickers aren’t personal its frustration you aren’t together.
3. If you can cope with distance, you can cope with anything! – Distance is a bit of a bitch and especially when you are planning an event whether its a wedding or a party etc. You will both get so much stronger as a couple.
4. Ignore those haters – We have had negativity but its been weighed out by how positive our loved ones have been and also people we don’t even know thanks to good old social media.
5. Have the right support system – You really do learn who your real friends are and who you can really rely on when it comes from living far apart and planning an important occasion.
6. Focus on the end goal – You won’t be apart forever, you have your end goal so put together a countdown it really does make it so much easier.
So you have my perspective and I asked Alex his opinion on planning a wedding when he’s in a distance relationship and he had this to say;
‘While planning this wedding it has been increasingly frustrating because I am so limited in what I can do and be involved with. Thankfully with modern technology this makes it easier to communicate and arrange different things, thanks to Emily and Mama Fazz they have been so reassuring with myself when it’s all got a bit too much when I am far away. I’ve learnt in hindsight that it’s probably not the greatest idea to organise a wedding with such a big distance but this has brought us closer together since we’re both in the same situation. We have fantastic support from people closes to us minus a few individual who don’t realise it’s our day and not theirs, personally I have learnt a few people’s true colours. If you are in a distance relationship and planning an event or wedding I would say communication is key and just be honest with eachother.
Wise words from my future hubby to be, honestly surprised he had so much to say! Below is a photo of myself and Alex when he asked me to be his wife (YES he exsists!) and it gives me all the butterflies, this photo and the happiness you see makes the distance so worthwhile.
Thank you for reading and I would love to know what you think, don’t forget to follow my instagram and thank you for all being so lovely!
Love Mr & Mrs S to be x